9/11

I share my birthday with a day of solemn remembrance...

When I was in school I disliked a September birthday because it came so quickly at the outset of the school year.  As I got a bit older I began to love having a September birthday as it signaled the beginning of a new school year and the new year in the Jewish religion- a time to "begin again."

Then came 2001, a group of individuals hijacked my birthday- along with the lives of so many families and the American people.  For the first five or six years I spent my birthday with the families that attended the World Trade Center Children and Families program where I volunteered and then worked.  It was a humbling experience and I spent many of those days in tears and laughter- hearing stories of the men and women who were taken too soon from their loved ones, learning about strength form those who possessed so much of it, and learning about my own strength and fortitude.

The program then moved into a new phase and there was no longer a need for me to be there on that day as everyone began to make new rituals that helped them to move forward. I however was stuck with a day that I did not want to use in celebratory manner- my new ritual has not yet been created- I haven;t figured out exactly how I want to mark the day.  I know that I own the day, as we all own our birthdays, but I want to find a way to celebrate it in a way that feels respectful to the horror that was 9/11/2001.

When I figure that out I will let you know.

for now- I have celebrated the occasion on different dates, felt bewildered and at times very angry that I cannot have my day back!